Shino's Birthday!
by hardxfreakinxcore
Summary: Kiba and Hinata are throwing a party for Shino's thirteen birthday! They must tackle preparations, invitations, decorations, and other things that end with 'tions! Oh yeah, and its a surprise party!
1. Kiba's Master, Evil, Devious Plan!

And another story! I know I was going to be working on Uchiha of the Month, but for those of you who haven't checked my profile, it's on a temporary hiatus. I'm not exactly sure how long this story's gonna be, so make sure you check it out every now and then.

I really appreciate feedback, good and bad! Oh, and as for pairings, the only ones I'll probably be able to confirm are Kiba/Hina and Lee/Ten. There WILL be an OC in later chapters, but this a GOOD OC. In fact, I believe MY OC is mentioned in this chapter. In case you didn't believe me, I CAN'T STAND MARY SUES AND WOULD NEVER WRITE ONE IN A STORY. NEVER.

And, not only I can't think of another innovative way to announce that I DON'T OWN NARUTO, but I also DON'T OWN NARUTO.

* * *

_Oh, this is going to be SO good...!_

"C'mon, Hinata, we have to be at the Aburame's residence before Shino wakes up! Who knows when that'll be?" Inuzuka Kiba hollered at his lagging teammate.

"S-sorry…" Hinata muttered, trying to keep up with Kiba and Akamaru's lightning speed. "I…. I'm just not as f-fast as y-you and Akamaru... or maybe I'm j-just not a m-morning person," she stuttered, nearly tripping over a tree trunk.

"Whoa, watch your step! And don't worry about it, we're almost there!" Kiba consoled, flashing a wicked smile in her direction.

"Th-thanks… So, how w-will this -" Hinata started as she failed to hide her intense blush, until Kiba suddenly stopped directly in front of a towering building with the Aburame insignia (1) and the name of said family inscripted on the door.

"Aha!" Kiba shouted. "The Aburame house!" Kiba observed the structure's exterior, nodding in approval. He turned to Hinata.

"Well, its sure no Hyuuga Mansion, that's for sure, but it'll be perfect for the best birthday party of the year!" Kiba grinned from ear to ear. "Whaddaya think?"

Hinata giggled despite herself, recalling her father's harsh response concerning Shino's birthday party being held at the Hyuuga Mansion. "Yes… perfect… Sh-should we go inside n-now? I-I've never m-met Shino's father before…"

Scratching his chin intelligently, Kiba wore a reflective expression. (2) "Yeah, I've never met him either. I guess we'll find out what he's like!" and he knocked on the door as loud as possible. Several seconds later, the door swung open, and Shino - the one person Kiba and Hinata _didn_'t want to see - stood in the doorway and crossed his arms.

"Don't laugh," he commanded. "The neighbor girl bought this for me…"

Nevertheless, Kiba screamed with laughter at Shino's attire: knee-length, black boxers with miniature beetle prints scattered across them, and a muscle shirt that read "Love Bug" on its front.

"Ooh, you got yourself a girlfriend, Shino?" Kiba drawled out, wiggling his eyebrows.

"No!" Shino retorted with a mortified expression as he took a step backwards. "That neighbor girl is _obsessed_, I tell you. Absolute nutcase. She's a constant annoyance, and if she catches me not wearing this on a regular basis, her psychotic alter ego kicks in. Her wrath even exceeds Tsunade-sama's," He continued gravely.

"Mmhmm. _Sure_."

As part of his daily routine, Shino ignored Kiba. "Anyway, care to come in?" Shino gestured to the inside of his home.

"O-okay," Hinata answered, waving to Shino as she entered. _How are we going to speak with Shino's father about his surprise party while Shino is still here? I hope Kiba knows what he's doing…_

"Nice place ya got here, Shino! Makes my home look like a doghouse!" Kiba laughed heartily after his comment. "Get it? Doghouse! Ha ha!"

Hinata coughed. Shino shook his head in pity.

"So, might I ask you guys what you're doing here today? And no, Kiba, I won't go to the dog show with you." Shino shivered, recalling his past experience at last week's dog show. "Not again, ever since Akamaru -"

"Hey! Thanks for reminding me! Akamaru and I made it to the finals!"

"Actually, Shino, Kiba and I… c-can we speak with y-your father?" Hinata asked timidly, glancing around the room in search of an elder clone of Shino.

Shino raised an eyebrow. "Yes, but why? Can't you just ask me?"

"Of course not, silly!" Kiba responded merrily. "Actually, I've been told that a _certain someone_ would like to speak with you outside… come with me," and he practically shoved Shino outside and trailed him, but not before making eye contact with Hinata and winking.

Hinata sighed. _Why does he make things so difficult? Oh well, now I need to find Shino's father…_

_

* * *

_

"_Who_, exactly, wants to speak with me?" Shino asked wearily. "For if it is a loud girl about your height with blonde hair, then please tell her that -"

"Oh, _no no no no no!_ You see that girl over there? Next to the tree?" Kiba asked, pointing to some random area.

"… No. I don't even see a tree."

"You _don't?_" Kiba inquired, shocked. "Look harder."

"I don't see this person _or_ this tree, Kiba. Why are you trying to distract me?"

Kiba's eyes widened, and he suddenly felt very anxious. However, for the sake of Shino's birthday and 'well-being', as he put it, he dispelled his doubts and continued. "No! I'm not trying to distract you! Seriously, there is a girl _right over there_ -" Kiba pointed to the same area again, "who wanted to talk to you! She's a babe, man, I'm _telling_ you!"

"Don't call me 'man', or Akamaru will suffer with fleas until those stains on my clothes come out," Shino replied harshly.

Kiba's eyes widened while appearing quite appalled. "You're gonna play the 'fleas' card again, huh? Well, I've told you a _thousand_ times, it wasn't part of the act! And hey, we won last week's dog show's semi-finals!" Kiba retaliated and crossed his arms indignantly.

Shino glared as he mimicked Kiba's posture.

* * *

After several minutes of waiting for Kiba to finish introducing Shino to "a certain someone" and searching for Shino's father, Hinata finally gave up and plopped down on one of the chairs in the living room.

_What on earth is Kiba doing? ... Actually, maybe I don't want to know... Poor Shino, I pity him right now._

"Ah, good morning!" a deep voice rang out. "I see my son has a visitor?" 

Hinata glanced at the man she assumed was Shino's dad. As she predicted, he was practically an elder clone of Shino, although his skin wasn't as pale. Hinata immediately stood up and bowed.

"Oh, um…" Hinata twiddled her fingers but tried to regain eye contact with the man. "G-good morning, uh… Shino's dad - no! I m-mean… Aburame-sama, or…" Hinata stammered, not quite sure how to greet the Aburame clan leader.

"Shibi will do just fine… Hyuuga Hinata, right? You're one of my son's teammates. Pleasure to meet you," and he shook her hand.

"Yes, pleasure to m-meet you too… Shibi…?" Hinata never grew accustomed to addressing adults by their first names, as it was practice at the Hyuuga household to designate others by their surname.

"Alright then. So, what business do you have here?" Shibi asked as he took a seat opposite of Hinata.

"A-actually, I'd like t-to speak with you about s-something," Hinata sighed, not sure whether Shibi would approve. She prayed that she wouldn't have to convince him. Hinata tried her best to gather her confidence. "W-well, Kiba and I are planning a surprise birthday party for Shino, and we wanted to know… if you approve it… being here?" she eyed Shino's father hopefully.

"Of course. I'm sure Shino would love having his friends to throw a surprise party for him, as much as he wouldn't admit it."

"G-great! So, you don't mind if say… nine other friends of Shino's are invited, too?"

"Hmm. Why not?" Hinata could detect a bit of amusement in Shibi's voice. "Just promise me you won't trash the house _too badly._ The elders won't appreciate it much." He smiled and was about to continue until Kiba and Shino burst through the door.

"_See_, Kiba? She _wasn't there._ Or the tree. Now, how much yen do you owe me?" Shino held his hand out expectantly.

Kiba snickered. "Oh, Shino! You can be so ridiculous sometimes. Anyways, you two _settle things out_ yet?" Kiba stressed, trying and failing to be as subtle as possible. Hinata slapped her forehead.

"_Settle things out?_" Shino repeated. "Like what?"

"Oh, nothing!" Hinata answered, realizing that lying is a lot harder than it seems. Shino decided it was best not to pry if Hinata was reduced to fibbing.

"So, Kiba, is that the only reason why you woke me up at six o' clock in the morning? To inform me of a nonexistent pretty girl standing near a nonexistent tree who wanted to hold a conversation with me?"

"A _nonexistent_ conversation!" Kiba replied as he grabbed Hinata's arm and headed out the door.

Shibi shook his head. _Is that the best plan Kiba could come up with? I'm disappointed._

Shino shrugged his shoulders and headed upstairs as he mumbled something remotely similar to, "He's almost as mental as the neighbor girl."

* * *

"S-so, Kiba?" Hinata asked. "What's n-next? We only have a week to prepare."

"Don't worry, it'll be simple! First of all, we'll hold a meeting with everyone else and decide their jobs! I've already told them about it, and I think they're all going to make it."

"Y-yes, but what about _Shino?_ I s-suspect he'll be suspicious of his f-friends hanging decorations in h-his house…"

"Well," Kiba started, not quite sure how to reply. "We… find out at tomorrow's meeting!"

* * *

That's all, folks! 

1) Let's just pretend the Aburame's have an insignia. Why shouldn't they?

2) How out of character did THAT sound? In case you were wondering or didn't catch on, he was just trying to impress Hinata.


	2. The Rather Dysfunctional Meeting!

HELLO AGAIN! So, mostly this chapter will be a little wacky - but hey, all the usual twelve (PLUS A SPECIAL CAMEO BY GAI-SENSEI) minus Shino are crowded together in one small area, so what do you expect?

Any Lee/Ten fans will squeal with delight after reading this chapter. Neji/Ten fans shouldn't be bothered by it, as it was a mere joke that I was suddenly inspired with and had to post SOMEWHERE. I was squealing too.

Oh yeah, for all Kiba/Hina fans: It will only last for about half the story, then it will change into Kiba/Hina/Shino, then concludes with Shino/Hina - but Kiba has a very very funny part with another character that'll be worth reading at the very end.

Me... and Naruto... I just don't own him...

* * *

The (Rather Dysfunctional) Meeting!

The next day, Shino woke up at the usual hour. After dressing and making his bed, as Shino, unlike Kiba, tried to maintain a somewhat dignified reputation, he nearly forgot his sunglasses as he headed out his room. Reaching for his sunglasses, he noticed a miniscule note attached to them. Shino instantly recognized the scribbled handwriting, which was Inuzuka Kiba's.

_Dear Shino AKA Love Bug _(Shino cringed at that),

_Kurenai-sensei CANCELLED PRACTICE TODAY! How awesome is that? Especially since today's a week before your thirteenth birthday, too, as if she knew that we - uh oh, Hinata's giving me that look again. Forget everything I just wrote, okay Shino? But remember that practice is cancelled! Oh, and whatever you do, DON'T GO TO ICHIRAKU RAMEN! Go eat a salad or something, you NOT MEAT-EATER! _(1)

_HAVE A FUN SUNDAY!_

_From,_

_Kiba, Akamaru _(Akamaru's signature was a pawprint)_, and Hinata, your best buddies in the WHOLE WIDE WORLD - and don't you DARE deny it!_

Although he was mildly curious why Kiba forbade him to meet them at Ichiraku Ramen as they usually do every Sunday, he shrugged, crumpled the note, and exited his room.

* * *

"Alright, alright, alright!" Kiba hollered over his friends' blaring chatter. Receiving zero response, he cupped his hands around his mouth and screamed. "HEY! LISTEN UP! MEETING'S STARTED!" 

The remainder of the twelve-year-olds' jabbering died down.

Kiba glanced around nervously as he tugged at his shirt's neck. "Uh, yeah! So…" he took a double-take around the room to ascertain Shino's absence, "we're throwing a surprise party for Shino's thirteenth birthday!"

"Yeah, but we already know that!" Naruto complained impatiently. Ayame walked over to his side of the bar. "Oh yeah, about seven more bowls of ramen…" he muttered.

"Ugh!" Kiba grunted. "We called you all here today so we could assign jobs for everyone!"

"Oh! Well, that's no big deal!" Ino exclaimed.

"And," Kiba continued. "To figure out a way for us to set up the decorations without Shino knowing."

"An impossible feat…" Neji murmured. "You guys have seriously lost it."

"Yeah, Neji's right," Sakura interrupted. "How do you guys plan on keeping a secret from _Shino?_ And, if he caught on that we were hiding something, he would play his 'sulk' card until we fess up."

"Exactly!" Kiba agreed. "But first, let's tackle the jobs. Hinata will explain them, since she did the majority of the planning. Take it away, Hinata!" and he dramatically pointed in her direction.

"Um… h-hi everyone?" she waved shyly, feeling the gazes of the other ten in the room. "A-anyways, we only h-have a week to p-pr-prepare, and we need two people t-to handle each j-job…"

"Okay, that should make things easier! Good idea, Hinata!" Naruto commented.

Feeling faint, Hinata lost her ability to speak. "Uh, um……."

Kiba growled and shot death glares at Naruto. "SO! What are the jobs, Hinata?" he shouted, although he tried not to sound very imposing in front of her.

"Uh - oh!" Hinata snapped back to reality. "W-well, we need to…" she thought for a moment, nearly forgetting the list of jobs after Naruto invaded all her thought processes and prevented her from thinking clearly. "A-acquire decorations, refreshments and snacks, bake a cake, set up the decorations, and send out invitations for others wh-who might l-like to c-come… and th-then there's the issue of distracting Shino…"

"…….."

"That sounds _too troublesome. _I mean, more troublesome than… _women…" _Shikamaru announced, full of disgust.

"Yeah, I know," Tenten remarked. "I mean, that's a lot to - HEY!" Remembering Shikamaru's previous comment, she lunged at him. Shikamaru, too lethargic to run away, shut his eyes tight and prepared for the worst.

"TENTEN!" Lee called out. "Never resort to violence in response to such a petty comment!" He caught Tenten, who was in mid-air in her lunge at Shikamaru, around her waist, and they both toppled onto the ground beside him.

"Oh, hey thanks, Lee," Shikamaru recognized Lee's heroic deed with the most sincerity he could manage. Without trying too hard, of course.

"Gah, you idiot!" Tenten screeched. "Now I can't get up!"

"I was only trying to do what is in the name of youth!" Lee replied heartily.

"'The name of youth' my ass…" she muttered.

"Everyone's watching you guys, you know," Shikamaru interrupted casually. Lee and Tenten blushed as it dawned on them what they must look like and how disturbingly silent it was in the room.

"ANYWAY, back on track!" Kiba announced, trying to revert their attention back to the matter at hand. "So, now let's assign these jobs -"

"Hello my precious students! Are you all basking in the springtime of youth today?" Lee's mentor cried as he waved to the eleven.

Shikamaru laughed. "Well SOME people are enjoying today, that's for sure…" nodding to the pair struggling to break free next to him. Tenten made a mental note to kill Shikamaru and Lee after the meeting.

"You all are so quiet today! What seems to be the prob -" Gai stopped dead in his tracks as he noticed his beloved, most prized student and his other female teammate on the ground in their… position…

"Umm…." Lee started, now _very embarrassed _that his teacher was, for once in his life, at a loss for words. "I can explain?"

"No, I think this is pretty much _self-explanatory,_" Neji mocked, amusement clearly detectable in his voice.

"NEJI!" they both shouted.

Tenten added Neji to the list, too.

"You two…!" Gai began in his usual manner, "… might want to do that elsewhere…" he finished somewhat lamely, but there was a hint of sarcasm beneath his boisterous disposition.

Although Kiba was hopping mad both Hinata and he were being ignored, he couldn't help but laugh along with everyone else that wasn't Lee or Tenten. "Aw, man! That's rich…" Kiba was soon added to Tenten's ever-increasing hit list.

"Well, I must be off, for I must practice for yet another challenge with Kakashi! Surely he will not surpass me and my superior dance moves tomorrow night at Konoha's most popular bar!" Gai thrust a fist into the air. "ENJOY YOUR YOUTH AND MAKE THE MOST OF IT! Especially you two," he glimpsed at Lee and Tenten with a PINGING toothy grin and a sparkle in his eye. "Judging by how fast you two are _moving along_, you won't be youthful for much longer!" And, at that, Gai sped off at inhuman speeds toward Konoha's famous bar in search of his eternal rival to brag about "his superior dance skills".

Lee passed out. Needless to say, Gai was inducted into Tenten's Infamous Hit List.

Pitying Tenten, Hinata and Sakura grabbed one of Tenten's hands and pulled her out of the tangled mess that was (now unconscious) Lee. "Thank you SO MUCH, guys," Tenten said. _Gai-sensei will suffer a slow and horrible death… but not as graphic as Lee's, OH NO…_

"NOW! You're ALL going to listen to Hinata and me, whether you like it OR NOT!" Kiba hollered, his eye twitching.

"Yes, _master,_" Sasuke sneered.

Ignoring Sasuke and his rude mannerisms, Kiba continued. "So! We need someone two people to buy the decorations, two people to buy the refreshments and snacks, at least two people to bake a cake, two people to make and send out invitations to the others, and two people to set up the decorations at Shino's house… any volunteers?"

"…"

"Volunteer now, or that Ichiraku Ramen discount we'll be giving you at the end is OUT THE WINDOW!"

"I'LL GET THE SNACKS!" Naruto called out, praying that Kiba and Hinata really wouldn't take away the discount.

"I can bake a cake…?" Sakura offered.

"I can help Naruto with the snacks!" Chouji boasted, because he sure as hell CAN.

"I can do the easiest thing possible that requires no effort!" Shikamaru suggested.

"I can do the invitations!" Tenten proposed.

The rest of the room was silent. Kiba sighed. "Okay, Hinata? You're writing this down, right?"

"Y-yes!" she replied, writing down all the names in the appropriate place on a clipboard. "B-but, we s-still need two people for getting decorations, one p-person for baking a cake, invitations, and s-setting up decorations…"

"So who still doesn't have a job?"

"Lee, Sasuke, Ino, Neji, you, and me."

"Hmm," Kiba pondered for a moment, thinking of the people best suited for each job. Eventually, he really couldn't make up his mind and paired people up randomly, just as long as he was with Hinata.

"OKAY! Here's how it's going down: Ready, Hinata?" She nodded. "Right: Naruto and Chouji do snacks and refreshments, obviously; Sakura, Ino, and Neji can bake the cake -"

"WHAT!" Ino whined as she stamped her foot on the ground.

"NO SASUKE?" Sakura objected.

"Oh, that's nice," Neji commented._ And I can't even bake a cake…_

"Shikamaru and Sasuke can set up the decorations at Shino's house -"

"Ugh… I thought I said I wanted the job with the _least _work…?" Shikamaru questioned as he slouched in his chair. _Plus, I'm paired up with that giant angst-ball, Sasuke… _

"Tenten and Lee can work on the invitations -"

"I give up," Tenten threw her hands up in the air as a sign of defeat. "This day keeps on getting worse and worse…"

"Keep tellin' yourself that, Tenten, but you KNOW you liked it," Naruto taunted, winking at her. She responded with a glare that could melt ice. "Hey, Kiba? You _sure _you're gonna put those two together? I think they'll be working on things OTHER than invitations, ya know?" Naruto asked, barely restraining himself from laughing.

"Is that a death wish?" Tenten asked in a deadly monotone.

"Yeah, don't worry, Naruto, those lovebirds will do just fine." He looked at Tenten, grinning. "You two play it safe, now! Remind Lee to use protection! And, of course -" Kiba averted his eyes from Tenten's, since her eyes were beginning to resemble Sasuke's Sharingan, "Hinata and I will buy the decorations."

"Figures," Sasuke crossed his arms. "You two are the only NORMAL group."

"I'm flattered," Shikamaru responded.

"You should be," Sasuke flashed one of those evil grins he should be famous for. Sakura and Ino swooned.

"AND, FINALLY…" Kiba intervened before a possible fight erupted. "How are we going to distract Shino so he won't suspect us? Especially while we're setting up decorations? And he's one sharp guy, too. It'll be hard to fool him."

"Well…" Shikamaru scratched his chin thoughtfully. "Why don't two people who AREN'T working on something take him somewhere for that part of the day, and he can't suspect something he doesn't know about."

"Good idea, Shikamaru!" Chouji commented.

"Meh. It's my job."

"Good plan," Hinata looked around the room. "S-so, who will take him tomorrow? Naruto a-and Chouji c-can't, since they n-need to buy d-decorations on Monday…"

"Why don't we?" Kiba suggested. "After all, we DO have practice tomorrow, and that way we can explain that we were too busy to meet up today and we can make it up tomorrow?"

"A-alright, it's settled then. Any questions? Tenten?"

"Uh, heh, yeah…" she glanced at the still-unconscious Lee. "Who is going to take him home…?"

The other ten in the room burst into hysterics.

* * *

Like I said, it was gonna be a little crazy! 

1) Someone had mentioned in a review that Shino should eat a salad. So I just felt like mentioning that!

REVIEW, PLEASE! Good and bad comments, I accept all.

BTW, if any of you guys are Lee/Ten fans, what did ya think of that scene? I know it was randomly placed at a random moment and, yes, it was very random, but I've always wanted to do that.


	3. Monday: Chouji and Naruto's Snack Break!

Yes! Chapter 3! I really enjoyed writing this chapter, although it sort of strays off at the end. Think of it as another plot bunny I just had to think of an excuse to write out. Although the chapter was intended to be about Naruto and Chouji, at the end it shifts over to Shino and Hinata.

I know I had some really small Americanized references and what-not in this chap (which I really try to avoid), but I figured it would be for the best. So in case some of yous somehow get upset over it, know that I get upset over it too!

Enjoy Chapter 3!

* * *

Naruto and Chouji's Snack Break

After a long day's practice with Asuma, Chouji practically darted from the training grounds to the one place he knew he could locate Uzumaki Naruto - Ichiraku Ramen. Once arriving at the restaurant, he ordered himself some ramen as well and sat next to his blond-haired comrade.

"So, Naruto? When should we go out for snacks?" Chouji questioned as he finished his fifth bowl of ramen.

"Hmm," Naruto pondered, raising his chopsticks to his chin. "Well, although I'd like to have a few more bowls of ramen, I guess ten will be good enough!" He checked the clock on the wall behind the counter. "Wow! It's almost five! We'd better get going as soon as we pay the bill!"

Eventually, Chouji and Naruto left and headed to the nearest market. After entering the store, they began shopping. However, they could not come to an agreement about Shino's eating preferences. Or, rather, Naruto picked out foods that might have offended the bug-user.

"Naruto!" Chouji scolded. "I'm _telling you, _Shino WON'T want to eat those!" Chouji was astonished by Naruto's stupidity, regardless of their recently established friendship.

"Aww, c'mon Chouji!" Naruto whined as he thrust a bag of candies in the air. "Who DOESN'T love Creepy Crawlers? We have to buy these! If we can't have gummy worms, then we should get this! Don't YOU like Creepy Crawlers, Chouji?"

Of course, Chouji loved nearly everything that was in an edible state. "Yeah! Let's get 'em!"

"Yeah!" Naruto shouted as he tossed them along with the gummy worms into the empty cart. Soon they embarked on a journey involving purchasing as much unhealthy, sugary snacks and beverages as humanly possible. After filling up two carts, they decided it was a mission accomplished. In high spirits, they strolled over to the cash registers, only to find a very perplexed Ino.

"Hey Ino!" Chouji called out, trying to grab her attention. "What's up?"

"Huh?" she looked around the store, attempting to pinpoint Chouji's voice. After finding Naruto and him with their abundance of snacks, she ran over to them. "Hey guys! I have to buy all of the materials for baking a cake today," she whined.

"So? That's not a big deal," Chouji replied.

"Easy for you to say. But I have no idea how to bake a cake or even what materials I need to get!"

"Oh… that sucks," Naruto commented.

"_Thanks for the sympathy,_ Naruto," Ino responded bitterly and threw him a nasty look.

Suddenly, a light bulb turned on in Chouji's brain. "Aha! I have an idea, Ino! Come with Naruto and me back to my house, and we'll probably find some cake batter and other things you'll probably need!"

After Chouji and Naruto paid for the refreshments, they set out for the Akimichi home. Unfortunately, they ran into three people they _didn't _want to see - Kiba, Hinata, and Shino. Noticing that Chouji and Naruto were carrying mountains of snacks, Hinata tried to distract Shino.

"O-oh, hi guys! Bye g-guys!" Hinata waved and practically shoved Shino and Kiba in the opposite direction. Nevertheless, Shino decided there was something amiss since everyone but him had tensed. He glanced at Naruto, Chouji, and Ino.

"Going somewhere?"

"Uh…. Heh heh heh…" Naruto giggled nervously. Ino ribbed him in his stomach.

"Not really," she replied casually as she gestured for them to head to Chouji's house. "Just stocking up on snacks for the big night!"

Shino raised an eyebrow. "Big night?"

Ino gasped dramatically. "You haven't heard?"

"Heard about…?" Shino questioned, wondering why he was the only one in the dark about 'The Big Night'.

"Well…" Ino began, now thinking of an excuse. _Is ANYTHING of some significance happening tonight…? Um… OH! _"Uh - Gai and Kakashi-sensei are having a dance-off at the local restaurant's bar tonight at six! We don't want to miss that!" Ino exclaimed, trying to appear as enthusiastic as possible.

"Oh… okay…" Shino lacked any interest and excitement he could ever manage. "Sounds… _interesting…?_"

"You bet! So we expect you guys to be there, alright? Lee, Neji, and Tenten should be there too!" _Perfect! Now he can't suspect anything! But then that means we have to go too… ugh…._

"…"

"Great idea, Ino! We'll see you there!" Kiba assured and, in the least subtle manner, winked at her. She groaned, shook her head, and hurried to Chouji's house. After Ino left, Shino sighed.

"So… at six o' clock tonight, we'll be watching two buffoons who probably can't dance… dance?"

"Yep!" Kiba replied cheerfully.

"S-seems like i-it…" Hinata muttered, reluctant that Naruto would be attending as well.

"I'm enthralled." Shino declared in a dull voice.

* * *

"So, thanks for helping me out you guys! But are you sure Shino likes carrot cake?" Ino inquired as Chouji, Naruto, and she entered the restaurant in search of familiar faces. 

"Pshaw! Who DOESN'T love carrot cake?" Naruto responded. "So anyways… who do you think will win the dance-off? Gai or Kakashi-sensei? I'm for Kakashi all the way!" Naruto proclaimed and thrust a fist into the air, resembling Gai and Lee's mannerisms.

Chouji shook his head. "There's NO WAY that Kakashi's going to dance in front of everyone. Gai will probably win just because there's no competition." Chouji picked up a menu as the three took a seat as close as possible to the bar and still barely see the stage. (1) "Oooh, they serve pretty good rice balls here! Mmm!"

"Hey! Naruto, Ino, Chouji!" a familiar voice called out. They turned to find Kiba and Lee rushing towards them, with Neji and Shino tagging along. "We saved you guys some better seats! Follow us!" Once they reached their destination, Ino noticed that several people were absent.

"Hey, were Shikamaru, Sasuke, Sakura, Tenten, and Hinata going to show up?"

"Tenten and Hinata have arrived!" Lee answered. "I believe they are picking up our dinners as I speak! Anyways, what are your predictions as to the winner of the competition? Surely Gai-sensei will astonish the crowd with his amazing talents in the art of dancing!"

"No way!" Naruto retorted. "I bet my sensei won't lose to your sensei!" And, predictably, the two genin argued about the outcome of the match.

"Hey, nitwits! The match is about to start! So I suggest you two cease your fighting until they finish, at least." Neji, very annoyed, crossed his arms and brought his attention to the stage.

Maito Gai, zealous and bursting with energy, bolted to the stage and executed an exaggerated bow. He searched the opposite end of the restaurant, finally exchanging eye contact with his favorite student, Lee (of course!). He performed the Nice Guy Pose and the PING in his teeth was so great that, as a result, several people complained of light-induced seizures after the show.

"Take that, my eternal rival!" he goaded.

"YES! GO GAI-SENSEI! DAZZLE US WITH YOUR AWESOME DANCING!" Lee cried at the top of his lungs as he pumped both fists into the air.

Next, Hatake Kakashi sauntered onto the stage with an air of indifference as he casually read his novel. He didn't bother looking for his students in the crowd, so he continued his reading and pointedly ignored Gai's constant boasting.

"C'MON, KAKASHI-SENSEI! YOU CAN BEAT FUZZY-BROWS' TEACHER!" Naruto shouted, cupping his hands around his mouth.

"Hey guys!" Tenten called out with Hinata right behind her. "We've got the snacks! Have they started yet?" She walked over to the rest and watched Gai flex his muscles in front of the crowd as the announcer introduced each of the contestants.

"Yep." Shino noticed there was something _off _about the crowd. Apparently, so did Hinata, as she wore a contemplating expression. "Hinata?"

"Y-yes, Shino?" she asked, her thoughts interrupted.

"Do you sense something _different _about the crowd, tonight?" Before Hinata could reply, the announcer finished his introductions and played the music. Gai appeared very smug.

"Alas, my eternal rival! It appears as though the spectators are stricken by my presence! Now, let us prove which is the supreme dancer! Observe, as I 'get my tango on'!" Gai declared, and proceeded to 'get his tango on'.

Oblivious to Gai's boasting, usage of 'hip' lingo as he put it, and the crowd's cheering, Kakashi shrugged and, as he read his precious book, nonchalantly snapped his fingers in beat with the song. Meanwhile, Gai proved to be a dancer worthy of praise, as the crowd roared in approval.

"IT APPEARS THAT THE SCORE WILL NO LONGER BE TIED, MY ETERNAL RIVAL!"

Meanwhile, Lee and Naruto cheered their teachers along desperately. Naruto was absolutely positive that Kakashi's impressive finger-snapping technique would lend him an upper hand, and Lee was certain that Gai's breath-taking tango skills would surely lead him to victory! The rest of the genin couldn't decide whom to cheer on - probably fearing the wrath of Naruto and Lee - so they rooted for them both.

Meanwhile, Shino still couldn't put his finger on what bothered him about the crowd. _Well, they're loud… that bothers me, of course, but… _Suddenly, it dawned on him and he shot another glance at the crowd to confirm his hypothesis.

"Excuse me, Hinata?" His teammate looked at him with curious eyes. "About what I was saying earlier… Did you catch what was different about the crowd yet?" A rare grin escaped him, and he had to bite his tongue to keep him from laughing. That certainly wouldn't help his image.

Hinata giggled. "What's so f-funny, Shino? You n-never laugh… But no, I can't fi-figure it out."

Shino cast a meaningful look in the ecstatic crowd's direction. "A hint: something's missing."

Squinting her eyes, Hinata stared hard at the crowd. "W-well… I n-notice that there is only m-men…" Her eyes widened in realization and she began laughing. "Is th-this a…"

Shino nodded and couldn't help but snicker. He motioned to a sign next to him on the wall he leaned on. Hinata, still chuckling, walked up to the wall and read the notice decorated with a rainbow sign.

_ATTENTION ALL BAR-GOERS! _

_Monday nights are RAINBOW NIGHTS. Thank you for your cooperation._

Hinata's suspicions were confirmed. She looked at Shino, who was obviously struggling not to laugh as hard as she. "Sh-should we t-tell them…?"

Shino shook his head. "No. This will be a lesson well learned for them."

* * *

(1) Hey, you still have to be 21 to get into a bar, right? 18 or 21, can't remember. EITHER WAY, they're twelve and thirteen, so they couldn't get in anyway. They're on the other side of the restaurant, in case you were wondering. 

READ AND REVIEW! Reviews make me squeal with glee, just like that Lee/Ten moment I wrote last chapter. I accept all suggestions, criticisms, and DEFINITELY compliments! But you should know that!

What's in store for chapters ahead: The chapter progression will follow a pattern - for each day of the week until Shino's birthday, there will be two chapters. One will be dedicated to the task that is needed to be accomplished before Shino's b-day, and the second is about the two (or three) people that take Shino somewhere to distract him from all the birthday planning and what-not.

SO, next chap will be about Shino, Kiba, and Hinata!


	4. Monday: The Girl Next Door

Its finally DONE! Yep.

For some reason, this chapter turned out to be REALLY LONG, so it might turn out to be boring or something. I really hope not!

That OC character shows up in this one. LETS EXPLAIN HER NAME. I know, when you read the name you'll be like "ugh! A Mary Sue name! OMG No." My friend picked it out since the character is her idea.

It would be a HUGE HELP if you guys can tell me what you think of her. I'm no big fan of OCs and its the first time I've written one. Just be honest! I can take criticism just fine. Her personality should be a cross between Ino and Amy Rose from Sonic the Hedgehog... She has a VERY funny scene at the end of the story, too, so don't cringe whenever I mention her name. It'll be worth it. She won't be paired up with Shino or Kiba, in case you're wondering.

Just read. I don't own Naruto... man that gets old...

* * *

Shino's Birthday!

Monday: The Girl Next Door

As Team 8 departed their usual training spot, Hinata braced herself for the upcoming conversation she had rehearsed with Kiba God-knows how many times.

"So, K-Kiba…" she twiddled her fingers nervously and blushed. Fortunately, this was not unlike her usual behavior. "Wh-whose house should we a-attend, today?" She prayed that Kiba would remember his lines.

Kiba, oblivious to Hinata's choice of words, answered in a confused tone. "Hey… don't we usually go to YOUR house, Hinata?" he inquired.

Hinata sighed. Unfortunately, Kiba's attention span was the equivalent of Naruto's. "N-no… my father re-refused. We decided t-to meet at Shino's h-home today, _remember?" _She applied a gentle stress to 'remember'.

"We did?" Shino asked, never recalling such an event.

Kiba eyes shot open in comprehension. "O-oh! Yeah, Shino. My mom's out on a mission, and Neji's been in one of his _moods, _recently, so Hinata's is off-limits, tooSo we're going to your house today!"

A wave of reluctance overcame Shino. "Well, once again, I _must _warn you of the neighbor girl. She can be quite, uh… for lack of a better word, _flirtatious."_

Kiba grinned, trying to resist a chuckle. "Someone flirting with _Shino? _Ha! I think I want to meet her! What's she like?" Kiba prompted, unable to control his sudden fit of laughter. _Aw, man. Picturing Shino flirting with a girl - Priceless! _

"As I said, the most suitable word to describe her would be flirtatious. She is boisterous, loud… somewhat similar to Ino…"

"Hey, Bug Boy! You know you're supposed to, you know, _flirt back?" _Kiba winked.

Shino crossed his arms and a crease formed between his eyebrows. "Over my dead body."

Hinata giggled. "I believe we-we're almost there…"

* * *

_Oh, that's right. That Hiwatari girl should be arriving any minute now… aren't those friends of Shino's coming, too? _Aburame Shibi chuckled to himself. _They'll be in for quite a ride._ However, Shibi's thoughts came to an abrupt halt as a distinct, deafening voice echoed in the living room. 

"YO! Mister Aburame! What's up?"

"Father, I apologize on my uncivilized fool of a friend's behalf."

"Um… he-hello, Abura- no, uh… Shibi…?"

"SO! I hear that our little LOVE BUG here has a girlfriend? Thought the day would never come!"

"Kiba… I don't know how else I can _possibly _get my point across to you…"

"Are they going steady yet?"

"Kiba - no! Th-this is very dis-disrespectful!"

"Kiba - she is not my girlfriend!"

"Aw, how cute, huh Mr. Aburame? HE'S IN DENIAL!"

"The three of you, please! Calm down!" Shibi insisted, waving a hand in dismissal of all their previous comments. "Now," a smile escaped him as he faced Kiba. "What's this about Shino's girlfriend?"

Kiba was nearly in hysterics. "Yeah! Shino was telling me about the girl next door, and he called her, uh, what was the word, _Shino?" _He threw an evil smirk in his direction. Shino glared in response.

"You're putting things out of context, Kiba. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'll be getting some lunch -"

"You didn't answer my question, Mister Lance Romance! Anyways, I believe the word was _flirtatious! _So, Mr. Aburame, have they been _hitting it off _yet?" Kiba wiggled his eyebrows.

Shibi shook his head, snickering. "Most unfortunately, _Mister Inuzuka, _it is a more one-sided relationship on Saria's part. Quite a shame, really." He barely lowered his sunglasses and leered at Shino. "She's turned out to be _quite a looker."_

Kiba laughed outright. "Ha ha! Man, Shino. You've got one cool dad! Who would've thought that an _Aburame, _of all people, would have a sense of humor?" Kiba cringed at his choice of words. "I mean -"

Shibi casually shrugged it off as he tried not to laugh. "No harm done, Kiba."

"Father, are you on my side or not?" Shino was about to head off to his room until an all-too-familiar voice rang in the room. _Oh, Kami… why now?_ He felt his shoulders droop and prepared for, arguably, the one person who annoyed him more than Inuzuka Kiba and Uzumaki Naruto together.

"Hello, Aburames!"

Hiwatomi Saria. (1) She burst into the room, her blonde, shoulder-length curled hair bobbing behind her. Dressed in a bright baby blue long-sleeved shirt and a yellow skirt that reached to her mid-shins decorated with a faded floral pattern, one would never guess she was a Konoha genin by her garments if one hadn't noticed her headband tied loosely in her strawberry blonde curls.

Shino raised an eyebrow. "I see you're going all-out on your ninja attire," he commented as he shot several desperate glances at his father. _Save me._

"I know, I know," she began, strolling right up to Shino and lazily resting an elbow on his bony shoulder. "I'm not really wearing something you'd consider _ninja-y_, but hey! I'm off duty today - no missions, no worries!" She feigned a bewildered expression. "_Shino! _I see YOU'RE off duty today! And you appear to be mission-free and worry-free!"

"Hn," Shino replied evenly. _You have no idea how wrong you are._

"SO, why don't we go for a walk or something? After all, walks are mission-free and worry-free - just like us!" And, as she tugged on Shino's arm and attempted to pull him out the door, she noticed two new faces - a boy struggling to maintain a straight face, and a blushing girl, although she appeared to be giggling.

"Shino! I've never met your team before!"

Kiba was ecstatic. "Hey! I'm Inuzuka Kiba! The," he purposely cleared his throat, "LEADER, of Team 8, and this is my dog, Akamaru!" Akamaru popped his head out of the top of Kiba's jacket and barked.

"Aw! So cute! I've always found guys with pets much more sensitive…"

"Uh…" Kiba scratched the back of his head and felt heat rising to his cheeks. "Well, heh, I just found Akamaru one day and we've been best buddies ever since! So, anyways, judging by how you treat Shino, can I assume that you, basically, have him under your finger?"

"No," Shino replied.

"Of course!" Saria answered simultaneously, louder than Shino by tenfold.

Kiba smiled and faked a swoon. "You're my hero!" Saria chortled.

Shino, breaking out of Saria's grip, bid her farewell and rushed out the door. Hinata followed him, fully aware that Naruto and Chouji would be out for snacks by now and he _could not _find them shopping. If Shino confronted Naruto and Chouji, it would be impossible for them to erase his suspicions due to Naruto's presence. Besides, Chouji performs horribly under pressure and would be the most likely candidate, other than Kiba, to spoil Shino's surprise.

Kiba watched them bolt out the door. "Oh, well! I guess I better keep those two out of trouble!" As he headed out the door, he sent her a final glance and waved. "See ya later, Saria and Mister Aburame!"

* * *

Hinata felt very left out. It was as though her teammates were moving on without her, or maybe it was just her usual worries. She considered Kiba and Shino to be much more than her teammates, and she was positive they felt the same about her. And now, she wasn't quite sure how she felt about them. How she felt the slightest twinges of jealousy when Saria flirted with Shino and nearly yanked his arm off as she nearly dragged him out the door, or when Saria stated that 'guys with pets are much more sensitive' after Kiba introduced her to Akamaru. Hinata couldn't quite figure out why her advancements toward her teammates irked her, but had no time to contemplate it now: Naruto, Chouji, and Ino were approaching them. (2) 

"O-oh, hi guys! Bye g-guys!" Hinata waved to them, making eye contact with Ino. She insisted that they continue walking, and had to shove Kiba and Shino onward. However, Shino was much more perceptive than Kiba and could detect something suspicious occurring between the three intruders.

"Going somewhere?" he inquired as he stepped in front of his teammates. Chouji responded with a furious blush and turned around; Naruto responded with a nervous cackle, and Ino responded with a sharp elbow to his ribcage.

Ino casually tossed her hair with the back of her hand. "Not really. We were just stocking up for the big night!" Ino gestured for Naruto and Chouji to do something, and they both shot off in a hurry; Shino was even more perplexed.

Shino raised an eyebrow. He was sure muscles had formed in that area by now. "Big night?"

Ino gasped and raised a hand to her mouth. "You haven't heard?"

"Big night?" Shino was utterly lost. He glanced at his teammates, who pretended that they fully understood what Ino was referring to. _Is Kiba being sent to an asylum? If that's not it, then I don't know what is._

"Well… Uh - Gai and Kakashi-sensei are having a dance-off at the local restaurant's bar tonight at six! We don't want to miss that!" Ino appeared to be very eager about the upcoming event.

_I would love nothing more than to miss that. _"Oh… okay. Sounds… _interesting…?"_

"You bet! So we expect you guys to be there, alright?"

_No. _"…"

"Lee, Neji, and Tenten should be there too!"

_NO. _"…"

"Great idea, Ino!" Kiba exclaimed and, with the least amount of subtlety, he winked. Shino had already given up trying to grasp the meaning of everyone's peculiar behavior - not that Kiba' behavior could be any more peculiar than it already is. Ino groaned, shook her head, and bolted off as fast as Naruto and Chouji had a while back.

Shino decided he _really hated Mondays._

* * *

"HINATA! KIBA! SHINO! Come here! We have reserved exclusive, top-notch seats for tonight's DUEL OF EPIC PROPORTIONS!" Lee roared, as every single customer and bar-goer shot aggravated stares in his direction. Furious, Tenten smacked his arm. Neji, all too accustomed to the intensifying fight, sighed and greeted the newcomers. 

"Hey… sorry about them -"

"Perfectly alright, Neji. I assume you're put through this every day?" Shino asked as he grabbed a menu from the counter and skimmed through it.

"Yes," he agonized. "And Tenten isn't even being violent yet," he remarked dryly. In the distance, Tenten pulled on Lee's hair and Lee cried out something along the lines of, "NO! My most perfectly styled hair! Tenten! Your actions do not reflect one who is in the springtime of youth!"

Kiba winced. "Poor Lee." He turned away from the rather large scene unfolding. "So, Shino, anything look good on the menu?" Kiba asked, peering over said menu next to Shino. Akamaru escaped Kiba's jacket and perched himself on the top of his head.

"Well… there's many choices. I think I'll have some egg rolls, plain and simple."

Neji thought. "Lee, Tenten, and I already ate, so we're good. Lee might still be hungry, but I wouldn't be willing to cater to him considering the giant mess he created. At least their fight died down." Relieved, Neji's shoulders relaxed as Tenten and Lee walked, rather clumsily, over to him. They appeared very disheveled, with wrinkled clothing and tangled hair; or in Lee's case, a minor lack of hair in several areas.

"Hey, Hinata!" Tenten called, pretending as if nothing had happened between her teammate and her. "Why don't we pick up their dinner? You three still haven't eaten yet."

"S-sure, Tenten. They already informed me what they would like to eat." Hinata and Tenten left, leaving Kiba, Neji, Lee, and Shino.

"So, why don't we go back to our seats?" Neji offered, somewhat sullenly, as he treaded off to their pre-appointed seats. As the four took their seats, a burly, muscular ninja huffed over to them, crossing his arms.

"You there! Dog boy!" He pointed at Kiba. "No pets allowed. I'll escort you outside where you will either drop off your dog or _leave_."

"WHAT?" Kiba protested. "This is absurd! An outrage!" Akamaru growled and barked furiously. "I REFUSE to leave, and I WILL NOT tie up Akamaru outside! THAT IS FINAL!"

Shino, Neji, and Lee watched the entire scene transpire, as the intimidating guard, literally, carried out a furious Kiba and Akamaru.

"Shouldn't you help them, Shino?" Lee inquired as he watched Kiba struggle furiously and Akamaru bite the man's arm. "It is your youthful duty as a friend to help him!"

"Why, of course not," he answered as if it was expected he would not chase after the guard tossing out his dejected best friend. For a few minutes, nothing of great significance occurred between the three as they only made small talk. However, they were slightly baffled when Kiba, panting, ran up to them. Immediately, they noticed that Kiba had either gained weight, or Akamaru was hiding in Kiba's jacket.

"Now," Neji started as he began to chuckle. "I wont tell you what that _looks like, _but…"

"Hey! It was either this or I couldn't watch the show! Which would you rather have?" Before Shino could voice his opinion, Kiba crossed his arms and 'hmph-ed'; as a result, the 'lump' in his jacket squirmed, causing Lee and Neji to crack up and Shino resisted a smile. Lee noticed some familiar faces enter the restaurant. After recovering from his spell of laughter, Lee waved to them and ran over, Kiba following suit. Shino and Neji strolled behind them.

"Hey! Naruto, Ino, Chouji! We saved you guys some better seats! Follow us!" The other three decided to ignore Kiba's sudden weight gain, as they really didn't want to know what happened.

Ino looked over the group, noticing other people she expected to attend were absent. "Hey, were Shikamaru, Sasuke, Sakura, Tenten, and Hinata going to show up?"

"Tenten and Hinata have arrived!" Lee proclaimed. "I believe they are picking up our dinners as I speak! Anyways, what are your predictions as to the winner of the competition? Surely Gai-sensei will astonish the crowd with his amazing talents in the art of dancing!"

Naruto seemed skeptical and crossed his arms stubbornly. "No way! I bet my sensei won't lose to your sensei!" For the second time in only ten minutes, Lee was engaged in another argument, which was quite unlike his nature. However, Neji was fed up with all this nonsense and really wanted to watch the competition and head home as soon as possible.

"Hey nitwits! The match is about to start! So I suggest you two cease your fighting until they finish, at least."

As Gai and Kakashi made their entrances and began dancing, Neji soon became distracted. He had a hunch why only men had attended the bar that night, but the mere concept of it was so incredulous to him that, to confirm his suspicions, he checked the flyer posted near the wall.

"Oh… my… God… This is simply _too awkward_… Why haven't those two figured it out yet?" He shook his head in disappointment as he quickly exited the restaurant, not wanting to partake in yet _another _scene. _Shinobi Rule Number 17: Always be aware of your surroundings… and those two are supposed to be Jonins? Disappointing._

Meanwhile, Ino was very bored. _Man! I sacrificed SO MUCH for that Shino kid in ONE DAY! I mean, spending half the day with Naruto and now THIS? Kiba better pay me for this. _She looked at Shino, who - surprisingly - was grinning as he leaned against a wall next to Hinata, who was giggling like mad.

"What seems to be so funny, you two? I don't think I've ever seen Shino _laugh _before…"

Without speaking a word, Shino pointed to the flyer to his left. After Ino scanned it, she gaped, at a loss for words.

"Is it _allowed _for a high-ranking ninja to be _so stupid?" _She threw her hands up in the air. "Do people even read, anymore?"

Shino shrugged. "Apparently not. Actually, I'm going to be heading home now. Are you still going to stay?"

"Of course not!" Ino nearly shouted. "I don't want to get wrapped up in all of this once Lee and Naruto find out. I better go get Tenten - we're having a sleepover tonight!" Ino announced as if it was the best thing in the world.

"Fantastic," Shino muttered and walked out the door.

Ino made a face. "That Shino. Such a stick in the mud. Hey, Hinata, do you want to come?"

"S-sorry, Ino. I'd l-like to, but my f-father would refuse. I'll w-walk with you a-and Tenten, though," Hinata replied, looking thoroughly rejected.

"Don't worry about it, Hinata!" Ino consoled. She searched for Tenten, grabbed her arm, and, despite her protests, pulled her out the door as Hinata scurried after them.

"ALRIGHT FOLKS, THAT WAS ROUND ONE! GIVE IT UP FOR MAITO GAI AND HATAKE KAKASHI!" The crowd went wild, as they stood up and demanded an encore.

"NO FEAR, FOLKS! FOR THERE IS A ROUND… TWO!" And, once again, the music played. Lee and Naruto continued to cheer them on, their efforts to support their teachers never faltering. Kiba was excited, too. After all, not only did he outsmart that silly guard, but also he gets to watch Gai wipe the dance floor with Kakashi! He laughed and cheered for both teachers.

"You there! Dog boy!" Kiba recognized the gruff voice instantly. _Damn guard. Well, he'll never know that I hid Akamaru in jacket! It's totally unnoticeable!_

"Oh, hey there!"

"Don't you go 'hey there' to me! I know perfectly well that you obviously hid that crazy dog of yours in that jacket!"

Before Kiba could protest, Akamaru fell out of his jacket and plopped on the ground.

"Um… my water broke?" Kiba tried. Needless to say, Kiba and Akamaru were, quite literally, thrown out of the restaurant.

* * *

Gai was positively sure he had evened up the score. _Fifty-nine to fifty-nine… Take that, my eternal rival Kakashi! Good thing I took dancing lessons in my youth! And youth always prevails! _Gai had nearly blurted out his thought and had to stop himself, since it would _not _be modern, hip, and cool if the crowd was convinced he was some sort of a schizophrenic. 

_Speaking of the crowd… Why aren't there any ravishing young ladies attending the event so I can swoon them with my dashing good looks and striking personality? Wait a second! Aren't Monday nights…? _

Gai glanced at the crowd, and his tango suddenly lacked his usual enthusiasm. _All men…_

"Whoops."

He tangoed over to Kakashi, who was still avidly reading his book and snapping his fingers with less excitement, snap after snap.

"Kakashi! I'm afraid I have made a terrible mistake!" Gai exclaimed.

Kakashi finally distracted himself from his book and made eye contact with Gai. "And that would be… proposing such a ridiculous challenge in the first place…?"

"NO! It is far worse, my Incredibly Oblivious Eternal Rival!"

"What could be worse?" Kakashi asked as he ceased his finger snapping.

Gai whispered, as loud as possible, of course. "The crowd is… well… um…" He wasn't quite sure how he could communicate his message without insulting every homosexual man who had entered the restaurant. He braced himself and decided to simply say it. "Well, Kakashi, I believe we both have learned a lesson. Apparently, Monday nights are Rainbow nights." He suddenly laughed, trying to lift the mood. "HOW IRONIC!"

Kakashi stared for an unusual amount of time. "Well, Gai, I believe you have learned _two _lessons. _Learn to read the damn flyers. _Now, if you'll excuse me…" and Kakashi, making great haste, departed from the stage and left the restaurant, abandoning Gai. Nevertheless, the crowd screamed for Gai to continue dancing.

One man hollered, "STRIP! STRIP! STRIP!" Soon, nearly the entire crowd joined in on his chanting. Gai chuckled nervously, not sure how he'd get out of this one. Meanwhile, Naruto and Lee nearly experienced a heart attack once they figured out the mystery of the crowd. However, since they deeply pitied poor Gai, they remained in their place and waited for Gai to devise a master plan to escape.

"Um," he announced in front of the crowd. "I believe this has been a terrible misunderstanding! For, I am not…" Once again, Gai lacked of a better word, and decided to follow Kakashi's example and simply leave the stage. Enraged, the crowd boo-ed and threw various things in his direction as he darted out of the restaurant. Lee and Naruto chased after him, also not wanting to be subject to the crowd's wrath.

"GAI-SENSEI!" Lee shouted. "HOW COULD YOU HAVE BEEN SO UNAWARE?"

"I DON'T KNOW, MY PRECIOUS STUDENT! Perhaps my Springtime of Youth is drying up!" He suggested, as he walked as far away from the restaurant as possible with Lee right behind. Naruto decided it would be better to head on home or else he would undoubtedly have the misfortune to witness yet another one of 'Gai and Lee's youthful crying session'.

* * *

READ AND REVIEW! 

(1) Went through it before: Her name sounds like a Mary Sue, her DESCRIPTION might sound like a Mary Sue, but DON'T BE DECEIVED. She is no Mary Sue.

(2) I think that's the longest paragraph I've ever written!

NEXT TIME, ON "Shino's Birthday!": Lee and Tenten make and send out invitations! Should be interesting enough. ;)


	5. Tuesday: Lee and Tenten's Visitor

Hey! Sorry about the delay in posting. Now that I'm working on TWO fics, it's gonna take a little longer to update. I'm trying to get as much in before school starts, because when it does, things are gonna take a LONG TIME.

I can't say anything about how in-character Lee, Tenten, Neji, and Gai will be in this chapter. Tenten has an excuse, though.

I don't think this chapter was very funny. I CAN promise you the chapter for Neji, Sakura, and Ino will be hilarious.

I don't own Naruto or any of its characters... I don't.

* * *

Tuesday: Lee and Tenten's Uninvited Invitation

"After running 200 laps around Konoha, performing 500 pushups, and practicing with my team, I'd have to say my day is complete!" Rock Lee announced to his seemingly empty room. "Now, all I need is a quick snack and I'm off to bed! As Gai-sensei says, 'Early to bed, early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise'!" (1) The remainder of Lee's words of wisdom echoed in the hall as he strolled out of his room and latched the door.

_Great! Now's my chance!_

Eavesdropping on Lee's lecture in health, money, and intellect, the intruder glanced behind him to confirm no one had followed his stealthy footsteps. He sidled across the side of Lee's house and arrived at a window, which happened to be left open, and snuck inside the room. After entering the darkened room, he switched on a lamp and removed the mask obscuring the majority of his face. Inuzuka Kiba grinned maniacally.

"Great! See, Akamaru?" A white puppy popped its head out of the top of Kiba's jacket. "I _told _you that I AM the MASTER of STEALTH!" he exclaimed, placing a note on the top of Lee's nightstand. "Mission accomplished!"

Akamaru yipped in agreement.

"Now, lets -"

"Unless my mental stability is lapsing, I believe voices coming from the inside of my room!" A familiar voice cried out. Kiba gasped. _Lee…!_

"Akamaru, hide me!" Kiba frantically whispered. Akamaru ducked in Kiba's jacket. "No! That's the other way around!" He glimpsed around the room, not having ample time to escape to the window.

"I see how it is, FIENDS!" The doorknob turned. With no other choice, Kiba dove underneath Lee's bed. After unlocking the door, Lee burst inside his room and adapted his fighting stance. Finding zero evidence of the recent infiltration of his room, he shrugged it off, climbed into bed, and soon fell asleep.

Kiba groaned. _This would be a LITTLE more pleasant if he didn't SNORE._

* * *

At the crack of dawn, Lee awoke with a large yawn. "Ah! It is Tuesday! I must make the most of today, as it is the only day our team does not practice! No matter! I shall run 100 laps around Konoha to prove my dedication!" As Lee hurtled out of bed, he detected a miniscule note atop his nightstand. _This wasn't here before. _He scanned over the note, realizing his routine for the day would be rudely interrupted. 

_Hey, Fuzzy-brows!_

_It's your BEST PAL, Kiba. So, today, you and Tenten will be working on invitations for Bug Boy's birthday party! That means you buy all the materials needed for making the invitations, write the message inside, decorate them, and send them out. I'm sure it will be bundles of fun for you two! But don't have too much fun, now! _(Lee decided to remind Tenten about annihilating Kiba).

_By the way, keep on the watch for Shino. Hinata and I couldn't think of a way to distract him, so if he's around, make sure you don't let anything slip! You might want to work somewhere that will be a little less obvious. Let's see, anything else I'm forgetting… Nope!_

_See you guys around! _

Lee sighed. Spending the day with Tenten was _not _on his to-do list. Usually, the two of them would end up arguing about the most trivial subjects, and that was something Lee never looked forward to. He would much rather spend the remainder of the morning training, and the rest of the day sparring with Neji or attempting to woo Sakura. Nevertheless, it was Tenten's and his duty to ensure the task's completion! Brimming with a fiery resolution akin to the burning of a thousand suns, he showered, dressed, ate, and performed all those other routines necessary for proper hygiene, and then sped out his front door.

After Lee departed his room, Kiba emerged from underneath his bed and stretched. "Ah! What a relief, eh Akamaru?" Akamaru barked in response, deciding to sit atop Kiba's head. "I think it's pretty safe to leave, now!" As Kiba headed for Lee's window, a shrill voice rang in the room. Kiba halted dead in his tracks.

"YOU! _What are you DOING in my son's room?_" An irate woman stomped into the room and marched right up to Kiba. "Speak now, because I'm in half a mind to call my husband!" She paused, and then continued in a deadly whisper. "And you _don't _want that."

Kiba trembled in fear, feeling himself cower as her tall frame towered above him. Was it his imagination, or had he shrunk? _Aw, man! Now I need an excuse! Uh… _"W-well… Lee invited me over," Kiba stuttered, not daring to break eye contact with Lee's furious mother. "There was a marathon - yeah, a marathon! - for this program we like to watch!" Kiba prayed she would consider his excuse.

As if nothing had happened, her facial features relaxed and she smiled broadly. "Oh! That's okay, then! Sorry if I sounded a bit imposing a second ago! I _am _very protective of Lee, that's all."

Astonished that she hadn't saw through his obvious lie, he tried to return a grin. "Its no problem, my mom can be like that, too! But I should get going," Kiba insisted as he inched closer to the door.

"It was nice to meet you, and your name is…?"

"Inuzuka Kiba!" Kiba hollered as he sprinted out of Lee's room and as far as humanly possible away from the Rock residence.

* * *

Finally, Lee arrived at Tenten's residence. He was unsure whether Tenten's family would be awake at the break of dawn, so he decided to meet Tenten at her window. After chucking a blunt rock at a wall neighboring the window, the kunoichi yanked it open, glaring at Lee. 

"What are you _doing?_" she hissed, lazily throwing a kunai in his direction. Lee easily dodged it. "Its barely _six o' clock _in the morning, and _you wake me up?_ We don't have training today, Lee!" Before she snapped her window shut, Lee caught her and leaned against the windowsill.

"We need to work on the invitations for Shino's birthday party today, Tenten. It's best to finish it earlier than later!" Lee avoided her piercing gaze as he returned her kunai. Tenten groaned.

"Ugh, _great. _Just how I wanted to spend my day." Stuffing away her kunai in her room, she continued. "Alright, Lee. Wait outside for me, as I get ready. Got it?" she added, rather threateningly before she gently closed her window. She didn't need her parents to stumble across Lee roaming around in her house.

"Yes, Tenten!" He saluted, and sat underneath a nearby tree as he anticipated her return. Once she arrived, clad in her usual attire, they debated their working area as they headed to a local arts and crafts shop.

"I'm _telling _you, Lee. We should work at my place. Gai-sensei likes to randomly drop by your place to invite you to training, and I'm _not_ doing this work _alone!_" Tenten declared, placing her hand on her hip.

"But, Tenten! Remember the last time I went to your house? Surely, your parents would forbid me visiting!" Lee shuddered, recalling his last experience at Tenten home. _I don't believe I had even heard of some of the words that Tenten's father shouted at me when I advised her mother to display more youth! It's unnatural to be that quiet all the time!_

Tenten shrugged her shoulders. "Well, can't argue with that logic. I guess it's your place, then." Lee smirked, a triumphant expression plastered on his face.

"Great! Besides, I've always believed my backyard's scenery is quite pleasant in comparison," Lee claimed. Tenten glared menacingly in response. _Honestly… just because he belongs to the 'Oh So High and Mighty' Rock clan... _(2)

"Oh!" She nearly shouted, causing several bystanders to rush away in fear. "So, are you saying mine _isn't? _You _sure_ know how to be sensitive, Lee!" She gritted her teeth and shot daggers at him.

_She sure is moody today! I better be more careful about what I say! _"N-no!" Lee stuttered, not finding the right words. "It's not that your backyard _isn't _pleasant, it's just that I think that mine is more so… I mean, no! Um…"

Tenten threw her arms up in frustration. "Okay, Lee! You win! Can you just _forget _about it? Honestly, why are you overreacting all the time? Don't you care about how _I _feel?" Tenten paced quickly ahead of him, and Lee, flabbergasted, remained in place.

_I'M overreacting? What is WRONG with her today? Perhaps it's her time of the… GAH! _Trying to ignore his previous thought, he caught up with Tenten, who had already arrived at the arts and crafts shop. After grabbing a cart, he met her inside. Tenten greeted him with a bright smile as if nothing had happened, which perplexed Lee even more. Nevertheless, he returned the smile, not wanting to be at the receiving end of her mood swings.

"Hey, Lee! So, what do you think we'll need to pick up for making invitations?" Tenten inquired as they aimlessly strolled around the store.

Lee paused for a moment. "Well, obviously we'll need envelopes, blank cards, and then we'll need various things for decorating them, wouldn't we?"

Tenten nodded. "Yeah. Let's go get the envelopes and blank cards, first. They'll be easier to find."

And the two began their search for said items, oblivious to a new presence stalking behind them. After they had found the desired items and, much to Lee's surprise and relief, with minimal argumentation! And then there was the task of deciding on the cards' decorations.

"So, I was thinking we should go along with a theme. How about…" She glanced at the assortments of glitter and other decorative items, "yellow? Or maybe orange…"

_That girl has lost her mind! _"Um, I was thinking, you know, since Shino is such a… calm person, maybe he'd prefer a… _calm color?_" Lee squeaked out, avoiding her gaze. "Maybe a sky blue would suit Shino -"

Tenten crossed her arms in a huff. "Oh, I understand, Lee. _You don't value my opinion? _Is that it? _Why are you so imposing whenever you're around me?_ Don't _I _ever have a say in things?" She demanded, and Lee felt very small next to her.

"Uh, yeah, you _do_ have a say! I was just making a suggestion -"

"You ALWAYS make suggestions, Lee!" Tenten shouted, ignoring the newcomer in the group. "Don't you care about _what I have to say?" _By this time, Tenten was shouting, and Lee could officially count this as the second occasion in which he ever felt embarrassment. Before he had a chance to reply, the intruder in the group beat him to it.

"Well! You two sure _fight_ like a married couple!" Lee was astonished; it was none other than Gai-sensei! Although he was ecstatic to meet him here, he didn't dare speak anything while Tenten was still in 'one of her moods'. Gai continued in a suspicious tone unlike his usual manner, "_Maybe it isn't far from the truth_."

Lee gaped, no longer harboring his former enthusiasm at meeting Gai-sensei. _Is he still going on about that horrible incident with Tenten and me at Ichiraku Ramen on Sunday?_

Furious, Tenten slowly turned in Gai's direction. "And, _what, _exactly, are you implying?" As Gai was about to reply, he noticed Lee's desperate hand signals, which implied him not to speak his mind. He also noticed Lee mouthing words which he translated as, "It's her time of the month!" much to his amusement. He took Lee's actions into deep consideration.

"Why, I'm just speaking the truth!" He replied unawarely.

Lee had learned a valuable lesson today: Never irk a woman during PMS. Apparently, his sensei would soon learn it too, only the hard way. "I think I'll be heading off to my home, now! Tenten, I completely trust in your abilities to pick out the perfect decorations for the invitations! Meet me there when you're finished!" Lee hollered behind him as he darted away from the unfolding scene and the arts and crafts shop.

* * *

Tenten sighed. _It's been a long day already, and it's not even noon! First off, Lee HAD to start acting like an ass and he never let me say ANYTHING! That jerk! And then, Gai-sensei comes up and, for whatever reason, starts to imply LEE AND ME! As if! I am NOT happy now! _

After walking up to Lee's residence in the Rock Villa, she found a young man fighting a shadow clone. Tenten stared at him. _Is that Lee's brother? He seems too young to be his dad. And he can use ninjutsu - that must be tough on Lee. _After taking a better look at him, she noticed he didn't inherit the horrid trait that is Lee's eyebrows, thank goodness! However, they shared similar facial features, except his features were longer and thinner.

Once she headed inside, she nearly walked right into Lee, and she ignored the fact he nearly scrambled away at the sight of her.

"Oh, hi Lee!" She greeted. "Was that your brother outside?"

Lee's eyes narrowed slightly, his entire demeanor changing. "Oh, _yeah_. My _charming_ older brother. Have you spoken with him yet?" He replied in a deadpan. "Anyways, you want something to drink? I'll ask my mom if she can get us anything."

"It's okay, Lee. I'm good. And, no, I haven't talked to your brother yet." Tenten was very curious. Why did Lee cringe at the mention of his brother? She assumed they didn't get along very well, as with almost every other sibling-to-sibling relationship. She followed him out the kitchen and into the living room. There, she met two people she concluded to be his parents. Tenten immediately noticed that neither of Lee's parents inherited Lee's massive eyebrows, much to her astonishment. _Was Lee just unlucky?_

After entering, Lee's cheery disposition returned as he greeted his mother, who appeared to be a very outgoing, sweet-natured person. Lee's father hadn't given him a passing glance, as he was engrossed in writing a mission report.

"Lee!" His mother cried out, crushing him in a hug. "Where have you _been _all day? I don't believe you had team practice!" Her features drooped, and a look of utmost concern possessed her.

Lee blushed as he broke the hug. "_Mom!_" He scratched the back of his neck and, uncharacteristically, sounded very shy. "We have a visitor." Lee's mother eyed Tenten for a moment, before rushing over to her.

"Oh! So, you must be Lee's teammate! Lee told me about you, you're the 'pretty one proficient in weaponry', I believe?" Tenten's eyes widened. By now, nearly all of Lee's face had turned scarlet. "Anyways, it's nice to meet you, and you are…?"

After recovering from her slight shock, Tenten answered. "Oh… I'm Wasanabi Tenten, it's good to meet you, Mrs. Rock…" she muttered as she shook her hand.

Preventing his mother from starting a conversation, Lee interrupted. "Yeah! And, today, we shopped for supplies to make invitations for Aburame Shino's surprise birthday party! We'll be working outside, since it's such a beautiful day out!" With that being said, Lee sped out the living room and through another door. Lee's mother sighed wearily.

"That boy! I swear - he doesn't have an 'off' button. Well, you two have fun working on those invitations! If you're hungry, let me know! I'll be happy to make lunch." Tenten waved and followed Lee out the door and into his backyard. By now, Lee already had the materials spread out across the perfectly trimmed grass. Soon, they began working on decorating the invitations in an uncomfortable silence. Tired of Lee's apparent inability to speak, Tenten began a conversation.

"So, Lee. Your mom seems pretty nice -"

"Tenten! What she had said earlier was her own opinion! It was never spoken by me!" Lee declared as he shot up out of his seat.

Tenten's eye twitched. "Oh! So you don't think that I'm pretty?" she demanded, also standing up and leering at him.

Lee cowered in fear, unsure of how to respond correctly. "W-well, no! I think you're very pretty, just as my mother had said!" Realizing his mistake, he corrected himself. "No! Not that I had told her! She just -"

Tenten covered his mouth with her hand. "It's okay, Lee. I understand…" she uttered and she felt her face heat up. However, it was nothing compared to Lee's, as his face's tint resembled a tomato's. Eventually, she lowered her hand and seated herself. "Let's just continue our work on Shino's -"

Both paused. Lee glanced at the bushes nearest to them. He faced Tenten, and mouthed, "I swore I just heard… but was it -"

"Neji…?" Tenten replied. "But why would he be here?" Tenten watched Lee carefully approach the bushes and peek into them.

"H-hey! Lee!" A familiar voice shouted. "Watch your head!" The eavesdropper calmly walked out of the bushes and brushed himself off. Tenten glared at him. Lee wished he could disappear. _I hope Neji doesn't mistake our conversation…!_

"_Neji! _What are you _doing _here?" Tenten crossed her arms and tapped her foot impatiently. Neji sighed heavily.

"Well, as odd as it sounds, Gai-sensei sent me to spy on you guys, along with someone else." _I sure hope he was smart enough to leave. _

Tenten's mouth fell open. "_What? _Wait, let me guess - he thinks we're dating and sent you and 'mystery man' to find out if we were or not? Tomorrow, I'm going to have a word with him…"

"Hey, Neji," Lee sounded very worried. "The other person with you, don't tell me it was…"

Neji nodded slowly. "It was." Lee's shoulders slumped. Neji continued, "Don't worry about it, he didn't hear you guys since I distracted him. That noise you heard was me, obviously."

Tenten's eyebrow rose. "Who was it?"

"Shino," they answered simultaneously. Before Tenten had a chance to reply, another familiar voice rung out. Tenten's fists clenched.

"Hello my students! Isn't it beautiful out today?" Gai jogged up to his three pupils. "I was merely taking my daily 500 lap run around Konoha, and I happened to find you guys here! How ironic!" He laughed heartily. Tenten donned a skeptic look.

"I'm not buying it, Gai-sensei. _I-know-what-you-did._" She pointed an accusatory finger at him. "You sent Shino and Neji to spy on us to see if we were dating or not. And, so you know, WE'RE NOT." If looks could kill, Gai would have dropped dead. Neji and Lee, too, for good measure.

"That's right!" Lee pumped a fist into the air. "There's no chance I'd EVER find my own TEAMMATE attractive!" Tenten slapped him hard on the cheek. Neji chuckled.

"_You idiot! _I can't BELIEVE you!" She marched back inside Lee's home, and the three of them watched Tenten storm out of the Rock Villa. Lee rubbed his cheek and winced in pain.

"I don't believe her! She's been like that _all day!" _He whined. Shaking off the stinging pain in his check, he resumed. "But she's right. We're not going out, and neither of us have any sort of feelings that exceed friendship."

Neji snorted. "Not from where _I _was standing…"

"YES!" Gai shouted. "I am victorious once again!" He waved to his students. "Remember tomorrow's practice, my youthful students! Especially you, Lee! I don't want to hear ANY excuses about _not having enough sleep last night! _GOODBYE, Neji and Lee!" Gai darted off, leaving an unconscious Lee and a hysterical Neji behind.

"I don't recall _ever _being in such good spirits." He took into consideration the previous encounter with his sensei, Tenten's absence, and Lee's unconsciousness.

For Neji, this was a grand day.

* * *

You know the deal: Read and Review! You know you want to. Okay, you might not want to, but you know I want you to! That's a good reason. In my book anyways. 

(1) If you have been living under a shell your entire life, then you might not have recognized the quote. It's by Benjamin Franklin, the best inventor ever!

(2) Yes, The Rock family has a Villa. In my fandom, they're a prestigious family too with some serious genjutsu skills, but Lee, quite unfortunately, hasn't inherited it. Basically, his father and brother are snots because they're so high and mighty, but Lee's mother married into the family. Lee's inherited a lot of his character traits from her, and his facial features from his father. Maybe I'll write a profile his family on my... profile...

Next time, on "Shino's Birthday!": We follow our heroes, Neji and Shino, as they spy on Lee and Tenten!


	6. Tuesday: Secret Asian Man

Hello! Sorry abou the wait, been really busy. First off, from now on every story will be updated every two weeks, along with a one-shot. For example, this week I completed "Neji the Hentai" and wrote another chapter for this. Next week, I'll be writing a Lee/Sakura one-shot and the next chapter for "Rock Lee's Guide". And then, the week after that, chapter 7 will be here!

Hey! I was wondering if anyone would like to Beta my story. Although I'm okay editing it on my own, sometimes my computer has trouble and/or I make careless typos. If you want to Beta, then PM me. If you'll be my Beta, I'll be your Beta:)

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, and I don't own any of its characters, because Masashi Kishimoto does... -sigh-

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Shino's Birthday

Tuesday: Secret Asian Man

"Hey, Bed Bug! Breakfast!"

_Never call me that again, Father_. After hearing his door shut, 'Bed Bug' reached over to his nightstand and grabbed his sunglasses. Slipping them on, he shoved off his bedcovers, crawled out of his bed, and sat on its edge. He considered the previous night's events. _Let's see... I spent half the day with Kiba and Hinata, Kiba and Father teased me about Saria, teammates met Saria, ran into Naruto, Ino, and Chouji, and attended a restaurant with almost all of the rookies and watched two people I've barely spoken compete in a dance-off on Rainbow Night._

_It's astounding I've maintained my sanity_.

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Fully dressed and ready to start the day, Shino sauntered down the stairs leading to his sleeping quarters and entered the kitchen. To his utmost dismay, two people grinned at him; each for their own reasons. The first, his father, proudly set his masterpiece, some disfigured, steaming substance, before Shino's customary seat. And the second:

Saria.

_Well, can't be too sure of maintaining my sanity now._

"Guess what, Shino?" Aburame Shibi asked, placing three glasses of orange juice on the table and seating himself. Lacking a response from Shino (_he has it backwards: you're supposed to be cranky in the mornings, not happy_), he continued. "Saria here was kind enough to purchase a foreign cookbook for us. I believe _this_ is _French toast!_" he claimed proudly, gesturing to the supposedly edible substance on the three's plates.

Shino shook his head sadly, and was positive his food was jiggling. Prodding his 'toast' with his fork, he could've swore it gurgled. He sat down in between his self-invited guest and father. "Are the French _savages?"_

Shibi scowled, and poked him with the bottom end of his fork. "Hey, you never complain when I make _bento!_ I'm just unaccustomed to this kind of cooking," he claimed in his defense. Shino had to admit - his father can whip up a _mean_ bento.

"I know what you're saying, Shino," Saria interrupted, tucking her blonde locks behind her ears. "The French have things _much better_ than, oh say, their food!" she exclaimed, wiggling her eyebrows and nudging his side with her elbow. As his father desperately restrained himself from exploding in hysterics, Shino's eyes bugged out and his glasses nearly toppled off his nose.

"I think I'll be leaving then," he declared, and practically flew out the door, not hearing his father call out, laughing all the while, "don't forget your girlfriend!"

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Storming out of his home, Shino headed in the direction of Hinata's residence; after all, he could always rant to her about the daily trials and tribulations of his life. Although he usually consults both his teammates, Shino figured that the content of Kiba's advice would be similar to Saria's jest during breakfast. As he traveled along the familiar route, he noticed two long arms wrap around his neck, and an uncomfortable pressure on his shoulders.

"Hey, Love Bug!" a female voice called.

Shino gasped for air, as the girl's forearms choking his neck wasn't improving his air supply.

Trying to remain composed, he spoke in a patient tone. "Saria, I appreciate having the ability to breathe."

Unlatching her arms, she strode next to him, making sure their shoulders brushed against each other's. "Sorry 'bout that, Shino. But you left without me!" she dramatically swept her brow with the back of her hand.

_That was on purpose, Spawn of Satan_. "My apologies, Saria. But, can you cease the theatrics?" Irritated, he stuffed his hands in his pockets and paced further ahead, praying she wouldn't follow. After five seconds of soothing solitude, the blonde skipped in front of him, grabbed his shoulders, and spun him in the opposite direction.

"Should I even ask -"

"_You're going the wrong way_, silly!" Saria shoved Shino's back with all her might, much to his confusion. "We're going to the amusement park!" she lowered her voice to a dull whisper, walked over and stood next to him. "From what I hear, there's this new attraction for couples and it's been very successful." Not giving Shino a choice in the matter, she linked arms with him and dashed in whatever direction her oversized heart desired.

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_Just how I wanted to spend my day - frolicking about the amusement park with Saria_. Shino grimaced, reflecting on the morning's events. At least he was rid of her for a few minutes, since she left to retrieve her wallet from home. _Wait a second..._

_She's gone. She won't be back for a few minutes. And I saw Neji and Hinata walk into the convenience store, which is also a few minutes away. I need to speak to Hinata._

This left Shino with two options. One: he would remain sitting on this bench and, later, spend the day with Saria at the amusement park. Two: ditch the love-stricken girl and look for Neji and Hinata at the market. Although he's grown accustomed to Saria's antics, he wouldn't be able to bear her flirtatious mannerisms for an entire afternoon; usually, he only spends a few hours of his day in her presence. And yet, he felt a twinge of remorse abandoning Saria for his other friends.

So, what would your average gentleman do? Shino evaluated the outcomes for each possibility, and decided to take a refreshing stroll...

To the market.

- ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- -

It seemed apparent to Shino that Team Gai experienced sudden mood swings and shopped at the market every Tuesday. So far, he had, quite literally, run into a terrified, screaming Lee; a furious Tenten throwing invitation cards and various sharp objects in his direction; a suspicious-looking Gai-sensei, and he concluded nothing good could come from that; and an utterly lost Neji. _But no Hinata..._

"Shino. Hinata's teammate, correct?" he asked, scratching his chin and apparently deep in thought. Curiously, his Byakugan was activated. "She told me that I could find her in the produce section; can you tell me where that is?"

Shino nearly fell over. _And here's the genius of the Hyuga clan? Well, he's no Shikamaru, that's for sure_. "Neji - look behind you. Shouldn't your Byakugan be able to pick that up?" Neji's face screwed up in concentration, and had yet to pay Shino a passing glance.

"Oh. Right."

Whatever Neji was looking at, it must have been incredibly important. Almost instantly, Shino realized what he was trying to see; or rather, trying to see _through_. He tapped Hinata's cousin on the shoulder. "You better watch out, Neji. She's looking your way, and I can't say that the Byakugan isn't well-known." _To think Hyugas were respectable..._

Immediately, Neji switched off his Byakugan and directed his attention away from the scantily clad vixen. "If I hear any word of this getting out..." Shino smiled underneath his jacket's collar.

"Then I'll regret being Hinata's teammate, I know." Neji nodded, and followed Shino to the produce section. Soon enough, they met Shino's teammate paying for an assortment of fruits and vegetables. She waved shyly at them, scurrying over to them.

"H-hello, Neji, Shino." Hinata glanced at each of them, and then poked the tips of her fingers together, staring at her feet. Neji sighed, rolling his eyes. _She really needs to cut this timidity_.

"Good morning, youth of Konoha!" An unmistaken able voice rang out. Neji fought the sudden urge to run away - who knows what sort of insanity will he be forced to participate in, this time? The gay bar incident was bad enough.

"Hello, sensei," Neji muttered, ignoring the agitated stares in the group's direction. He was all too used to the attention, having Maito Gai as a teacher, Rock Lee as his clone, and Wasanabi Tenten, arguably the most bipolar kunoichi ever.

"Hello! It seems as though I have stumbled upon a most unaccommodating predicament!" Gai announced to the world, his arms flailing in the air in aggravation. After a few moments of attempting to rip his shiny, bowl-cut hair out, he pointed at his student. "Neji! You, your cousin, and your cousin's boyfriend are to help me spy on Lee and Tenten!"

"Boyfriend?" asked Shino.

"Boyfriend?" asked Hinata.

"BOYFRIEND?" screamed Neji. "Explain your reasoning!"

"Well, I don't know! I simply assumed it because they were standing next to each and they're teammates! Why else?" (1) Neji slapped his forehead, but now knew to keep a careful watch on that Aburame boy. _You just never know with those quiet types._ "Anyways, I've been noticing some peculiar behavior from Tenten and Lee, as of late. So, as I said, you _three_ are to spy on those _two_ and report back to me!"

_Perhaps I should have stayed with Saria._ Shino crossed his arms. "Report what?"

"Anything implying that, you know," he checked behind him to ascertain their absence, "THEY'RE IN LOVE!" Gai hollered, which resulted in all shoppers covering their ears, expecting some sort of earthquake or apocalyptic sign.

Neji snorted. "Oh, okay. So as long as we're not prying into their personal lives or anything," Shino and Hinata chuckled, although all three of them resented the new task at hand.

Gai shook his index finger at the three. "You'll understand when you're a Jonin. Now, I must be off! I have five hundred laps to run around Konoha! Goodbye!" Then, Gai disappeared in a poof of smoke.

Hinata, Neji, and Shino stared at each other for a long moment. Then, Neji spoke first. "Hinata, you head on back with the clan's groceries. Undoubtedly, they'll be worrying about you. If Hiashi-sama asks, then tell him I am training with my team. I will see you later, Hinata." Neji handed her the basket of groceries, and then waved to her.

"G-goodbye, Neji. We'll m-meet later for pr-practice, Shino!" With that, Hinata rushed off in the direction of the Hyuga mansion. Then, Neji turned to Shino.

_What am I going to do now? Tell him to shove off, too? If Shino accompanies me to spy on those two idiots, then he might find out about his surprise party... what a mess... but, Gai-sensei will be expecting at least two of us to report back; one absence is explainable, but he wouldn't accept two. This is all so frustrating!_

"Well, it seems as though we have no choice but to listen to my erratic sensei. He follows through with these plans, you see. Now, follow me to the Rock residence." Neji stalked off to the store's exit, but not before leaving Shino with one final comment:

"Touch my cousin and you _die_."

Shino glared. _What have I done to deserve this?_

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"Are they in your line of sight?"

"Nope. Don't see them."

"Ah. Let's move over here then. Wait - Neji not there!"

"_Ouch!_ Damn blind spot. _Don't-you-dare-say-anything_, Bug Boy."

"Alright, I'll restrain myself."

"_Idiot!_ Lower your voice! Someone's coming -"

"_Who_ should be lowering their voice, then?" A harsh, deep voice inquired. The two intruders in the Rock villa glanced above them, discovering a lean man with his arms folded, tapping his foot patiently. Neji stood up first, brushing himself off.

"Hello. I'm Hyuga Neji, and this is Aburame Shino. We're friends of Lee, and we came to, uh, _check on him_." Neji lied smoothly, still staring at the mysterious man in shadows. The other laughed hollowly.

"Ah, so that _loser_ has _more friends?_" The voice scoffed, and Neji instantly decided he loathed this man. "Who would have thought such a talent less ninja would have acquaintances from such clans supposedly on par with _our_ prestige, such as the Hyugas and Aburames? _Perhaps that's saying something about the clans themselves, hm?_"

Shino jumped out from behind the tree, standing side-by-side with Neji. "That's out of line. Who are _you_ to insult _our_ families?"

"_And Lee,_" Neji added, standing a bit taller.

"Since you are _dying_ to know who I am, my name is Rock Tatsuo, or Lee's brother. Whichever you prefer. And I advise you two to watch your words whilst in my presence, as I am _not_ someone to be taken lightly." He flipped on the light switch from inside the home. "Come in. I have an ANBU mission to attend to, so if you'll excuse me." Promptly, Tatsuo shoved Neji and Shino out of his way and stormed outside.

Neji stole another look at Tatsuo_. To think Lee, arguably the biggest goof I know has such an ass for a brother. I remember Lee mentioning him a few times - to think he's only seventeen! He seems incredibly powerful... I wonder how Lee puts up with him?_ After exchanging eye contact with Shino, the two stepped inside.

Spending the first few minutes roaming through the massive household, they ran into who they assumed to be Lee's mother. To their relief, she was much more personable than Tatsuo. She kindly pointed out that Lee and Tenten were at work outside, and they sneaked out to the backyard and hid behind some bushes. As they settled themselves, Neji activated his Byakugan once again. One of the abilities he picked up from its repeated use was to read lips. Whenever he noticed the conversation turning in Shino's direction, he knew that he must distract him or else the secret would be out.

For some reason they couldn't begin to fathom, Lee and Tenten were strangely quiet while at work. During this time, Shino started a conversation with Neji.

"So, what are they working on, anyways?" he asked, wondering why on earth they were decorating cards like eight-year-olds attending the Ninja Academy.

Neji flinched, hoping he wouldn't ask that question. "Um... I don't remember - but that's not important now! We're supposed to be spying, correct?" Neji stuttered, and soon berated himself for such a petty excuse. Shino nodded, although Neji's sudden change in demeanor vaguely interested him.

"So, Lee. Your mom seems pretty nice -" Neji and Shino leaned into the bushes, trying to pick up as much of the conversation as possible.

"Tenten! What she had said earlier was her own opinion! It was never spoken by me!" Lee replied, jumping out of his seat.

Shino's eyebrow rose. "Now I'm a bit curious..."

"Oh! So you don't think I'm pretty?" Tenten demanded, giving Lee that trademark glare.

Neji's eyes bugged out. "_Very_ curious..."

"W-well, no! I think you're very pretty, just as my mother had said!" Neji, Lee, and Shino gasped simultaneously. "No!" Lee shouted. "Not that I told her! She just -"

"It's okay, Lee. I understand," Tenten muttered, turning as red as Lee.

Shino looked at Neji. "I feel strangely out of place, here." Neji chuckled despite himself, although he had greater things in mind._ What am I going to do when the conversation DOES shift over to Shino? Nothing rhymes with 'Shino'…_

"Let's just continue our work on Sh-"

_"Fly!" _Neji shouted the first thing that came to mind, tackling Shino in the process. In response, Shino shoved Neji off and glared at him.

"You ruined our cover because of a _fly?_ I didn't expect you to be _that _idiotic." Neji leered at Shino, and opened his mouth to speak, but Lee beat him to it.

"I swore I just heard… but was it -"

"Neji…?" Tenten inquired. "But why would he be here?"

The dynamic duo's eyes widened. Neji gestured to the yard next to them. "_Save yourself, _Aburame!" he whispered hurriedly, watching Lee approach the bushes. Not hesitating, Shino crawled through the bushes and ended up in God knows where. Meanwhile, Neji felt an abrupt, yet painful sensation on his forehead. Looking up, he realized he bumped heads with Rock Lee.

And that was the beginning of Neji's grand day.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Read and Review, please! I've been thinking about posting replies to everyone who reviews the most recent chapter, so... yeah! I was actually going to do it this chapter, but I'm incredibly busy with multi-tasking writing my story and completing my homework. Definitely next time, though!

(1) hahahaha! That cracked me up when I wrote that. It's pretty much the basic explanation for Certain Pairings Which Will Not Be Named AKA All of Them. :) Sorry, but it's the truth. But it's also what makes writing fun!

Next Time, on "Shino's Birthday": I really don't know! I'm stuck between two events, why don't you guys decide? I can't. For Wednesday:

- Kiba and Hinata go out and buy decorations/Not sure about what Shino will do in the following chapter. OR...

- Neji, Sakura, and Ino bake the cake! The next chapter, everyone but those three are invited to go to the amusement park by Saria :)

They'll both happen, but you can decide in which order.


	7. Wednesday: Carrot Cake Catastrophe

**So it's been two years. I'm in high school now. I'm 16. I'm in all Honors classes, and I do sports inside and outside of school. I'm a little busy. And school IS my top priority. I promise this will be finished DURING my lifespan. Sometime in there. Hopefully next chapter will be posted before I'm 20. Oh, and my Rock Lee's Guide story is discontinued. It was super crappy, I was reading over it. Thank God I've improved, huh? Comments are much appreciated. And I don't own Naruto. Please enjoy. **

Generally speaking, Hyuga Neji is a rather simple specimen. Disregarding his long-term Lower Branch crisis, of course, Neji is content with choosing the easiest lifestyle possible. Unfortunately for the poor, sufferable soul, he has been handed quite the complicated situation. Among questionably sane teammates such as the ever-youthful Rock Lee and Maito Gai combined with an unquestionably insane teammate, Wasanabi Tenten, he has much conflict in his life. Neji does not like conflict. Neji does not like bipolar females, nor does he like crying sessions and passionate hugs under the sunset, especially with those of the same sex.

And as he has recently discovered, Neji does not like birthday parties. But above all of the previously stated, Neji holds a profound resentment for culinary preparation. As in his case today, this might refer to baking a cake.

Neji aimed a particularly deadly poke to Hyuga Hiashi's midsection while mentally damning Haruno Sakura and Yamanaka Ino to hell. Before his uncle had a chance to retaliate, a piercing shriek had resounded from the Hyuga residence. A piercing _female _shriek that most certainly did not belong to Hinata, Hiashi noted, since she had taken the rest of the day to spend time with her teammates at the amusement park after practice.

Before Hiashi had time to raise an eyebrow, Neji wordlessly darted from the training area

Neji scrambled inside the prosperous dwelling and into the kitchen. Upon entrance, two angry females approached him armed with an eggbeater and a bowl that contained an unidentifiable, murky substance.

"This is _all_ yourfault, Neji!" One screamed.

"If _Sasuke_ was working with us, we wouldn't have had this problem!" The other hollered.

Neji gawked at them, and then at the disaster-struck kitchen. "What… what… have you guys _done?_" He managed, not hearing a fourth presence enter the room…

- A few hours earlier -

"And that concludes practice today, my precious students!" Maito Gai announced to the three teenagers. It was approaching noontime.

"Yes Gai-sensei!" Rock Lee rushed back from his training log as if he had not endured a gruesome, life-endangering practice. Although Gai had been ruthless in constantly watching over his prized prodigy and, well, his _not-as prized, almost _prodigy's dynamics, Lee couldn't help but not be too embarrassed around his mentor. However, Tenten felt a horrible mixture of mortification and murderous intent whenever her teacher spied on her while she was in the company of Rock Lee.

Ignoring the fact that Gai's other two students were approaching death, he continued speaking to the trio. "It has come to my attention that you are attending a social event at the amusement park in a short while?" Rock Lee nodded vigorously while Neji and Tenten grunted in approval as they dragged themselves over to the other two. Gai resumed, still blissfully unaware of his two students' sufferings. "In honor of this, I have ended practice earlier so the two of you can clean yourselves up a bit!"

Neji blinked. He was quite sure he heard "the _two_ of you." He was always concerned about and a little afraid of Gai-sensei's brain cells and his lack thereof, but Neji had sometimes been almost sure that his teacher knew most fundamental math skills. It was Tenten, however, who voiced his confusion.

"The _two _of us? What's that supposed to mean, sensei?" Neji could detect the beginnings of one of Tenten's infamous mood swings. He cringed as Tenten continued, her voice increasing in anger by every word. "Oh wait, _don't _tell me. Are you forbidding me or Lee to go so you can go spy on us to prove our _nonexistent _dating status? Do you think we're going to ditch the invite for some _amazing, bed-thumping SEX?!_ Or maybe you think we're going to have a giant _group orgy,_ being the horny _fourteen-year-olds _that we are! Which is it, _Gai-sensei?"_

A painfully long silence later, Lee spoke, clearly out of sorts. "That Tenten! Her and her jokes." Lee was losing assurance in each word he spoke. "So full of… youth… burning… exploding… tights…" He anxiously pulled at the neck of his jumper and chuckled awkwardly before positively sprinting as far away from Tenten and his sensei as possible.

Neji, Gai, and Tenten watched Lee dash from the fields until two pairs of concerned eyes rested on the aggravated kunoichi. In Tenten's defense, Gai-sensei had been beyond embarrassing concerning her self-proclaimed _platonic_ relationship with Lee. Ever since the events of Sunday's meeting, she could not strike up a conversation with Lee outside of practice. Whenever they were within a twenty-foot radius of each other, Gai would seemingly pop out of nowhere and, quite loudly and publicly, make all sorts of assumptions about the two. Even Neji had to admit, if he were in Lee's position, he would have snapped long ago.

Following yet another silence that was actually more painful than the recently finished training session, Gai discovered his power of speech. "Actually, _Neji_ wasn't allowed to go," he corrected quite lamely.

Neji was rendered speechless. Tenten, however, required several moments to recreate some sort of organized thought process within her currently scrambled brain. At a loss for words, she spoke in an airy voice as she drifted off in the opposite direction. "Well, okay… Thanks for that… Gai-sensei."

Once Tenten had exited the premises, Neji directed a simple question at his erratic sensei. "Why?"

Gai soon regained his former exuberance, as if Tenten's sudden outburst hadn't utterly deep-fried his occasionally functional brain. "Well, that Inuzuka boy had given me this note intended for you to read _yesterday," _Gai had whipped out a crumpled, torn piece of paper from his vest pocket, "but I'm afraid I was far too occupied with following your two teammates that I had forgotten to hand it to you! It contains all the details."

Being nearly fully recovered from practice, Neji shakily stood on two feet and ambled over to his teacher, seizing the piece of paper with a tad too much force than intended. "Thank you, Gai-sensei," Neji strained, his voice deadly even.

Oblivious to his remaining student's irritation, Gai flashed his winning smile before walking off. "Anytime, my student!"

As Neji staggered over to the Hyuga complex, still feeling darts of pain shoot up his legs every now and then, he uncrumpled the note from Kiba and began reading, with a growing crease forming between his eyebrows as he continued.

_NEJY! _(He was in half a mind to stop reading already.)

_Just letting you know that TOMORROW you'll be working with Sakura and Ino on the cake for Birthday Boy! I found them at the market yesterday, and they decided it would be best if the three of you cooked at your mansion for the extra room. If you have any problems, talk to either of us and we'll work it out for someplace else. But by the end of today! If we don't hear anything from you by the end of today, then it's assumed they'll be coming over yours tomorrow at 1 o' clock, PM. Meanwhile, Hinata and the rest of us are taking Shino out for the amusement park just in case. You guys can come over once you're finished. _

_Have a great time BAKING! _

_- KIBA (and Akamaru)_

For a moment, Neji was extremely worried. Within the next hour, Sakura and Ino would arrive at _his_ place to start baking. This wasn't the main cause of his concern, however. His uncle, Hyuga Hiashi, would throw a fit if he witnessed his nephew _baking,_ for two reasons. According to the Hyuga clan leader, baking cakes is an activity that should be reserved for females, and females _alone. _Also, on a lesser note, Neji had inherited from Hiashi his borderline-obsession with maintaining a certain degree of cleanliness wherever he went. Neji had a well-founded belief that this cooking experiment will most likely result in a chaotic, possibly life-threatening aftermath. Hiashi would not be terribly pleased.

But then Neji remembered that Hiashi wouldn't be coming home from his mission until later on in the evening, which would give the trio ample time to clean up. Although, Neji sighed as he entered his home, it was quite a blow to his masculinity to be spending a day with two _girls, _baking a _cake._

No sooner had Neji plopped down in a comfy chair than he heard a loud knock on the front door. At first, he was agitated because he never had a chance to relax after practice, but then concluded it was for the best to finish this "cake business" as quickly as possible, unless he would prefer to suffer Hyuga Hiashi's wrath.

He opened the door and was face to face with two kunoichi with various cooking utensils in their arms and…

Aprons. _Three _aprons. Three frilly, pink aprons. Neji eyed the accursed, possibly satanic objects with disdain.

"_No,"_ he hissed venomously. Sakura and Ino stared at him confusedly.

"_Hi, _Neji," Ino drawled in a falsely sweet voice as she let herself inside the complex, Sakura in tow.

Neji did not move. "No," he repeated, devastated, sounding much like a young child who had been told the truth about Santa Claus by his parents.

---

"Neji, did you find a pan, yet?"

"Yes, Sakura. I found a pan."

"A _thirteen-by-nine inch _pan?"

"…"

"God, Neji, what's wrong with you? Who _doesn't _have a thirteen-by-nine inch pan?"

"Yeah. I bet _Sasuke _has a thirteen-by-nine inch pan!"

Neji decided that girls were more trouble than they were worth. He wouldn't really_ need_ a girlfriend, when that period of his life kicked in, would he? He would be much more satisfied to remain a permanent bachelor than to endure the horrid mood swings, the constant fussing, and overall _cattiness _that every female he had ever encountered seemed to demonstrate. But at least he had managed to avoid wearing that hideous apron after being reduced to begging.

He had been searching for that _damned _thirteen-by-nine inch pan for a half an hour while the two _Harpies_ confided in each other the latest village gossip or exchanged personal opinions of the male ninjas, most notably Sasuke. Desperately wanting to end this nightmare of an experience quickly as possible, Neji procured a pan that _might _pass for being thirteen-by-nine inches.

"Here. Found one," Neji declared in an annoyed monotone.

"Are you _sure, _Neji?" Sakura asked suspiciously as she observed the pan in detail. "It would ruin the whole cake if the pan was too small, you know."

Neji made a mental note to make sure that _he _was the one who poured the batter in the pan. "Positive."

"Great!" She replied, and then found a large bowl. "So, Neji, have you ever cooked anything before?"

Neji scoffed. "No. Even if I wanted to, my uncle would forbid me to. That's why I've been wanting to _hurry up_ before he comes home!"

"Why won't your uncle let us cook?" Sakura questioned as she rummaged for the cinnamon in her bag of ingredients.

"Because baking is for _girls," _he spat, growing tired of the mindless chatter.

A sudden, devilish grin flashed Ino's features before she said casually, "So then why aren't you allowed to –"

"_Why _don't Neji and I slice up the carrots, and you can crack the eggs, Ino?" Sakura interrupted, wanting to survive the day with minimal conflict. Without waiting for a response, she thrust the large bowl into Ino's arms and dragged Neji by the sleeve over to the cutting board.

---

"Damnit!"

"_Neji, _don't startle me like that!"

"I cut my finger! What do you _want _me to say?"

"Ugh, not _again!_ We have no more band-aids left, see?"

"And that's not how you cut up carrots! They're way too tiny, Neji!"

"I bet _Sasuke _knows how to cut carrots."

"Never _mind _that," Neji sighed exasperatedly, nursing his index finger by patching up the bleeding with a paper towel. "Are you almost done with the eggs, Ino?"

"Well, about that –"

"Great," Neji strode over to the bowl of eggs, placed it underneath the cutting board, and scraped the carrot shreds into it with his knife. He then poured in the rest of the ingredients. "Now where's the egg beater –"

"_Neji!"_ Ino snapped.

"_What?" _Neji responded, nearly beside himself.

"If you had let me _finish, _then I could have told you that the bowl had _egg shells _in it!"

Neji grip on the bowl momentarily slackened, and he gazed into its contents with horrified wonderment. All he wanted to do on this deceivingly, _mockingly_ beautiful day was to recline in his comfy chair, maybe doze off for a few hours, and spend a day away from his insane teammates and their equally insane friends. Forget the amusement park, Hyuga Neji only wanted a day of relaxation for himself; a day without springtimes of youth, green spandex, awkward silences, Sasuke, and rampaging females. And yet he had been rewarded with all of the above and more. These petty, insignificant mortals could not begin to comprehend the woes of Hyuga Neji's life.

"I give up," Neji uttered in surrender. He threw his arms up in resign.

"Relax, Neji," Ino comforted, beginning to worry for the genius's sanity. "It's just a _cake."_

"Yeah," Sakura added, trying to bring Neji back to the good side. "It's not a big deal. Besides, we can always make another one!"

Before Neji had a chance to scream out a list of profanities that would make your grandmother blush, before he had the chance to do something highly illegal, and before he had the chance to plunge the sharp cutting knife through the middle of his forehead, he looked out the window and noticed a certain towering figure approach the Hyuga complex.

The corner of his lips twitched, and Neji, who was absolutely certain, at the least, that nothing else could possibly happen to further worsen his day, couldn't help but chuckle.

_Hyuga Hiashi._

Sakura and Ino watched in awe as various facial expressions passed over Neji's visage. Considering his peculiar behavior, Ino was tempted to believe that, maybe, Neji experiences a type of "Guy PMS." After all, she always suspected that Neji was sort of girly. He was a neat freak, temperamental, and had beautiful, flowing hair that she had secretly envied. Before she had time to pity Neji and his menstrual cycle, however, he had darted from the kitchen area, only saying, "Just hurry up with the cake. Hiashi's here."

Ino watched him leave, and then advised, "I think _you_ should crack the eggs this time, Sakura."

---

Hyuga Hiashi walked into the kitchen to find a flustered Neji, a furious blonde girl brandishing an eggbeater soaked in a gooey substance, and a furious pink-haired girl holding a bowl of the same mysterious substance. His glorious kitchen was in utter disarray, with the murky liquid splattered all over the walls, floor, and windows. Hiashi decided to speak up before things got even uglier.

"So, what happened here?"

His nephew whipped around and, judging by his shocked facial expression, seemed to fear for his life. He looked as though he awaited his eternal Judgment.

"Uncle! It's – It's not what you think! This wasn't _my _idea! This is all… Hinata's teammate's fault! _Inuzuka Kiba!_ He came up with a ridiculous idea to throw the Aburame boy a surprise birthday party, and assigned _me _to bake the cake with these two! I – I wouldn't have chosen –"

Hiashi raised a hand, signaling Neji to cease his frantic tirade. "Well, there's no doubting that those _Inuzukas_ always had a few screws loose… Before I ground you until _your _birthday, answer this for me, Neji."

The three teenagers gulped.

"Why didn't you simply _purchase _a cake?"


End file.
